The Latin proverb in vino veritas (in wine there's truth) is very true. Last weekend, my wife and I were with friends. We had some drinks and got to talking about sex. Wine is a truth serum for my wife. She can't tell a lie. And she told me that she doesn't like sex.
This came as a blow to me. We have a GREAT relationship otherwise. Sure, we could have more romance, but frankly, what couple(especially with kids, like us) doesn't? This actually all came about as we were out celebrating. My wife went out with her gals the day before, and all they did was gripe about their husbands, so much she sent me texts telling me how wonderful I was and how thankful she is that I'm a good husband (her words, not mine). I do my fair share of chores and child-rearing. Sure, I'm block headed at times, but I do my best and she recognizes it.
But this worries me because one of the reasons I got married was sex. My wife is the best sex I've ever had. And it's not like she goes through the motions. She is into it. She is somewhat open to spicing it up. The last time we made love, she wanted to watch porn. I've always wanted to do that but knowing her, it would've been rejected and killed the mood. SO it was a great surprise that she wanted to do it and we've both had a great orgasm.
Sadly, sex is few and far between. We do it now about once a month. We're in our early 30s (I'm 32, she's 30) and we have two kids. And like many relationships it's gone from 3-4 times a week to once a month. I'm not expecting 3-4 times a week now (like my friend has with his wife and he's got 3 kids!), but twice a week isn't unrealistic, especially since we don't have any financial issues, health problems or other worries, really. And believe me, I count my blessings. But sex is an important part of being married. Otherwise, we're roommates and I could've stayed single if I wanted a roommate.
Now I will say that I started late. I lost my virginity at 19, whereas my very close friends lost their at ages 13-15. So I've got catching up to do. What I mean by that is they've gone through the wild sex years and have settled down and have gotten the need to have it constantly out of their system. I haven't because my previous relationship was also like this. I still have the need to have it as much as possible. And it's discouraging when my buddy, who's almost been married 10 years (and with his wife for 12 total), has sex 4-5 nights a week and his marriage isn't nearly as good as mine (his admission).
The other issue came about a couple of weeks ago when she went out at night with her girlfriends. One of them is very attractive and though married, gets hit on. Her other friend in engaged and crosses the line a bit and therefore guys flirt with her. My wife says that doesn't happen to her (getting hit on) and that's because she's married and doesn't go out of her way to flirt like her gal pals do. But she told me after the last outing "It'd be nice if they hit on me once in a while." I was hurt and I told her that and she said it was nothing. But now, in the back of my mind, I am going to worry when she goes out that she may be more outgoing to get hit on and feel good. And if she's drunk (her friends get smashed every time out) and her friends are too, who's gonna stop her from crossing the line? Not to mention if she does, we're done. She also dresses to look very attractive. I know she does it to feel good about herself, which I like, but she doesn't always make the effort for me. We did fight about that and she told me being with me makes her feel great and she doesn't feel she needs to dress attractive. I told her that along with PDAs (not just sex) that's a way she shows she's still into me. She has made an effort the last couple of times we've gone out but it bothers me I had to bring it up.
I love my wife. But I didn't expect to have sex this infrequently until I was in my 60s. She doesn't want to try counseling and says she's trying but I don't see it. We've talked and there are things I could do better (and stop doing) and she's admitted I've taken them to heart, and I have no performance issues, then I don't see why we don't have sex more. I haven't cheated and don't plan on it because I've been cheated on, but there was times I've thought about going on Craigslist for an encounter.
I am sorry for being so long, but if you've got any suggestions, I don't want this to get worse but I am not sure what I can do. I'm sick of masturbating 3-4 times a week. IF you have any hints on how I can help my sex life, I'm listening.for more visit WWW.Google.com
This came as a blow to me. We have a GREAT relationship otherwise. Sure, we could have more romance, but frankly, what couple(especially with kids, like us) doesn't? This actually all came about as we were out celebrating. My wife went out with her gals the day before, and all they did was gripe about their husbands, so much she sent me texts telling me how wonderful I was and how thankful she is that I'm a good husband (her words, not mine). I do my fair share of chores and child-rearing. Sure, I'm block headed at times, but I do my best and she recognizes it.
But this worries me because one of the reasons I got married was sex. My wife is the best sex I've ever had. And it's not like she goes through the motions. She is into it. She is somewhat open to spicing it up. The last time we made love, she wanted to watch porn. I've always wanted to do that but knowing her, it would've been rejected and killed the mood. SO it was a great surprise that she wanted to do it and we've both had a great orgasm.
Sadly, sex is few and far between. We do it now about once a month. We're in our early 30s (I'm 32, she's 30) and we have two kids. And like many relationships it's gone from 3-4 times a week to once a month. I'm not expecting 3-4 times a week now (like my friend has with his wife and he's got 3 kids!), but twice a week isn't unrealistic, especially since we don't have any financial issues, health problems or other worries, really. And believe me, I count my blessings. But sex is an important part of being married. Otherwise, we're roommates and I could've stayed single if I wanted a roommate.
Now I will say that I started late. I lost my virginity at 19, whereas my very close friends lost their at ages 13-15. So I've got catching up to do. What I mean by that is they've gone through the wild sex years and have settled down and have gotten the need to have it constantly out of their system. I haven't because my previous relationship was also like this. I still have the need to have it as much as possible. And it's discouraging when my buddy, who's almost been married 10 years (and with his wife for 12 total), has sex 4-5 nights a week and his marriage isn't nearly as good as mine (his admission).
The other issue came about a couple of weeks ago when she went out at night with her girlfriends. One of them is very attractive and though married, gets hit on. Her other friend in engaged and crosses the line a bit and therefore guys flirt with her. My wife says that doesn't happen to her (getting hit on) and that's because she's married and doesn't go out of her way to flirt like her gal pals do. But she told me after the last outing "It'd be nice if they hit on me once in a while." I was hurt and I told her that and she said it was nothing. But now, in the back of my mind, I am going to worry when she goes out that she may be more outgoing to get hit on and feel good. And if she's drunk (her friends get smashed every time out) and her friends are too, who's gonna stop her from crossing the line? Not to mention if she does, we're done. She also dresses to look very attractive. I know she does it to feel good about herself, which I like, but she doesn't always make the effort for me. We did fight about that and she told me being with me makes her feel great and she doesn't feel she needs to dress attractive. I told her that along with PDAs (not just sex) that's a way she shows she's still into me. She has made an effort the last couple of times we've gone out but it bothers me I had to bring it up.
I love my wife. But I didn't expect to have sex this infrequently until I was in my 60s. She doesn't want to try counseling and says she's trying but I don't see it. We've talked and there are things I could do better (and stop doing) and she's admitted I've taken them to heart, and I have no performance issues, then I don't see why we don't have sex more. I haven't cheated and don't plan on it because I've been cheated on, but there was times I've thought about going on Craigslist for an encounter.
I am sorry for being so long, but if you've got any suggestions, I don't want this to get worse but I am not sure what I can do. I'm sick of masturbating 3-4 times a week. IF you have any hints on how I can help my sex life, I'm listening.for more visit WWW.Google.com
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